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On this day in 1752 The Pennsylvania Hospital opened its doors and became the first hospital in America.  The Emergency Room was a hospitable place for about fifteen minutes.

Someone should have taken a picture.  Oh wait.  They didn’t have cameras back then did they?

In 1812 on this day the governor of Massachusetts signed legislation that allowed the politically astute practice of carving up  voting districts or “gerrymandering”  to begin.  My voting district actually looks more like the debris left over from an atomic explosion but that’s a different story.   Boston was also in the news exactly 66 years later on this day when the Boston Bicycle Club was established.   It was the first bicycle club in America.

Much more recently (not on this date)  Massachusetts became the first state to give the Democratic Party a heart attack when it elected a Republican to fill the senate seat owned and operated by the Kennedy family for many years.

What can you say about the lovely people of Massachusetts?  Well. . . .  you can say that they are very creative people.  They enjoy reshaping the political environment while they are riding their bicycles.   And they are especially active the week before Valentines Day.  Hopefully they will need to rest soon.  I’m not sure I can handle too much more right now.

General Motors has also been in the news lately as it was back in 1937 on this date when it agreed to recognize the United Automobile Workers Union.    At that time there was a strike happening and it ended after GM agreed to negotiate with its workers.   Hopefully this made the worker’s lives a little better.  I can imagine them now being allowed to see their families once a week and even getting some medical care when a car fell on them while they were installing the muffler.   It probably took them awhile to get to that ER in Pennsylvania but as long as they made it back before lunch was over all was  good.

You know that not every worker could afford a car back then.  Many of them had to ride bicycles to work.  That’s why bicycle clubs were so popular.

In Massachusetts.   The rest of the country was too busy for that nonsense.

If you were working six days a week and had to go to church for six hours on day seven how much time would you spend at a bicycle club meeting?

I thought so.

On this day in 1960 Jack Paar walked off the Tonight Show four minutes early because a censor had cut one of his jokes.    Those late night comedians sure are a testy bunch aren’t they?  Lately they have been acting up again.  Conan stomped off into the sunset after NBC wanted to cut thirty minutes PER NITE out of his routine.  Jay had so sit down and talk to Oprah after it became clear that he is a sadistic rat betard without a conscience.  Well maybe that’s being a little rough on Jay.

Did you know that Jay is from Massachusetts?  I’m not sure if he rides a bicycle.  He has lots of cars and motorcycles.   Maybe if he pedaled around on a bike for awhile he would start to see things differently and ask Conan to come back and do the Tonight Show.

Jay has done it for such a long time.  He really needs to do something different for awhile.  Maybe he could run for political office.  I could see him challenging Al Franken for his  senate seat somewhere down the road.   In a battle between comedians Jay is sure to win.

It takes a comedian to beat a comedian.  They understand each other.   It would be just like the time Godzilla met his match in a fantastic monster battle.  Or the fight between Mike Tyson and James “Buster”  Douglas that actually happened  on this day in 1990.    Did you ever notice that Mike Tyson and Jay Leno sound a lot alike?

A lot  actually has happened on this day throughout the years.  Nelson Mandela was released  after 27 years captivity  in South Africa.  And a French lass  named Bernadette said that she saw a vision of the Virgin Mary in France on this day in 1858.   So some good things happened through the years besides Mike hitting the canvas.

From time to time I enjoy reading the newspaper and learning about what is going on in the world. It’s not something to do every day because too much news is not a good thing. In fact, too much news can drive you crazy. I used to follow the news closely until one day I found myself downtown trying to find the office of our number one elected official so I could discuss something with him.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I had gone around the bend and ought to find something else to do. So I stopped watching or caring about the news and became a blogger. Now a giant wave could pass outside my window here in Richmond, Virginia and I would simply note it in a blog post, take a few photos and resume playing Lord of the Rings Online.

It’s so nice to be sane once again. I’m really proud to have made such progress in so short a period of time.

I enjoy reading about things that are happening in the world. But it’s like eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. You really have to limit your intake or you will die way before your time.

Speaking of death I was sad to see in the news yesterday that two motorcycle drivers had a head-on collision here in town over the weekend and passed away. Condolences to their family and friends but how do you have a head-on collision with another motorcycle driver? Don’t people drive motorcycles so they can go around things? I see them all the time in traffic going around cars that are stuck in one place. Perhaps these two were related in another lifetime. Maybe they were brothers who went off in different directions and missed each other terribly.

Now they are together again in heaven. Angels are tenderly trying to separate them so that they can begin their heavenly training.

I also enjoy reading about what happened on this day in history. On July 1, 1867 Canada became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. This news also is causing me some confusion however. Doesn’t the word dominion have something to do with the word dominate? And isn’t the concept of self-government different from the notion of domination? It’s a little like what happened to Prince Charles on this day in 1969. Because he was formally invested as the Prince of Wales by his mother. He was given a position of great authority and prestige on this day.

And here we are forty years later and he’s still got the same position and precious little authority! Henry V!!! who has been so vividly portrayed lately on Showtime had his wife’s head removed based on some trumped up rumors about her infidelity. But Prince Charles had to watch while his wife went tooling around Paris with her boyfriend in a luxury automobile for the whole world to see!

Boy things sure have changed in the last four hundred years.

Maybe.

Canada did manage to get a national anthem on this day in 1980. It only took 113 years to come up with some music to mark the occasion.

In 1946 on this day the United States exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. But on this day in 1968 the US, Britain, the Soviet Union and sixty other countries signed the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty. Between these two dates
in the 1950’s above ground testing was conducted out west in the US near Las Vegas! People were encouraged to go out in their yards and watch. In fact they were given radiation badges that were collected and analyzed.

Some of these folks later discovered that they glowed in the dark except on one little area where the radiation badge had been located!!

Oh, I just made that last part up!

Maybe

Marlon Brandon left us on this date five years ago. Maybe he can welcome our two motorcycle brothers into the fraternity up there and do a quick replay with them to figure out how they went wrong.

And, finally, a bevy of beautiful babes are enjoying birthdays today. Olivia de Havilland, Karen Black, Deborah Harry, Genevieve Bujold, Lisa Blount, Pamela Anderson, Liv Tyler and Jamie Farr are all having special days.

And I have completed my adventure into a world full of news and history and insanity. Clearly its time to relax and do some deep breathing. My wife always hides the car keys for awhile when I do this so no one will be tempted to go downtown. Not that I would actually try and go anywhere to see someone about the current state of our terrestrial paradise.

Who would I talk to anyway? It seems like no one is in charge in any meaningful sense. We are all just drifting along through time waiting for the last day when history is able to amaze us.

And we become it.

So enjoy!

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On this date back in 1968 Lyndon Johnson announced at the end of one of his little television chats that he would not be seeking reelection. And you cannot imagine the sadness that gripped the college community at that moment. I know because I was one of those who had nearly been shipped off to a snake infested jungle full of pajama clad and rifle toting individuals who would be eager to shoot me if they got the chance.

And for what? I could never figure that one out. So maybe Lyndon wouldn’t look like such a loopy and depressed basket case when he got his mug on your television screen. Go to Vietnam! Make Lyndon smile!

In 1880 on this date Wabash Indiana became the first town in the world to be illuminated by electrical lighting. How nice for them! Men fell on their knees as they were totally overwhelmed when the lights were turned on and the town square blazed like the sun. Moths from the surrounding states all made a B-line for Wabash and it was soon knee deep in wings and not the edible kind.

Two steps forward and one step back. Progress is never in a straight line.

On this date in 1889 the Eiffel Tower was officially completed and its creator French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French flag on top of it. And such a wonderful day it must have been. The sky was clear and all the bugs had left for Wabash Indiana long ago. Air flight was on the horizon and everyone was optimistic because when you went to the top you couldn’t quite see into Germany.

And around this time in 1766 the Sons of Liberty gathered in Norfolk Virginia to protest the Stamp Act which was viewed as an attempt to tax the colonists without their permission.

It was much like what we call “foreign aid” or “the war in Iraq” in the present day.

And now it is time for Birthdays! Hockey great Gordy Howe is 80 today! I bet he can still put on a pair of skates and whoop up on some people. Actor Richard Chamberlain is 74 and some of us fondly remember his days as Dr Kildare. Actress Shirley Jones is also 74. Did you know they were born on the same day? I didn’t ! Actor Christopher Walken is 65 today and Gabe Kaplan is 63. Al Gore and David Eisenhower are both 60 today. Twins maybe? Nah. And finally actress Rhea Perlman is 60.

Happy Birthday to all and especially those who are beginning a new decade in their lives.

On this date in 1876 the first successful telephone call took place as Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his assistant Mr Watson (who was in another room). He said “Elementary my dear Watson”.

Oh wait. That was Doctor Watson.

This was Mr. Watson who heard the first message over a telephone wire. He was quite surprised too. Especially when he got the bill. Monthly service wasn’t cheap even then.

On this date in 1629 England’s monarch King Charles I dissolved parliament. There was quite a bit of screaming and gnashing of teeth as each member was dumped in a vat of equal parts ammonia, bleach and acid. And dissolved they all were.

But there was quite a bit of resentment over this and eleven years later Parliament was back in session. For some reason the new members all showed up on that day dressed in rubber suits. But Charles laughed and tried to put them at ease. He said it had all been a big mistake. “I was having a bad day. Make no bones about it. Whoops. I mean I was hoping to establish the Divine Rights of Kings so I could raise more taxes.”

” I lost my head” Charles noted.

“No you didn’t” Parliament responded. “But now that you mention it that sounds like a pretty good idea!”

“Gulp” said Charles. And after awhile he wasn’t able to even do that any more!

On this day in 1980 Scarsdale Diet author Dr. Herman Tarnower was put on a very draconian diet by his former lover Jean Harris. I saw the movie they made about this and it was pretty good. She actually made certain that he would never enjoy another meal again with her or especially with someone else. She shot him.

She was upset. She was depressed. He was trading her in on a newer model and she was unwilling to let it all go without a few words on her behalf. And at that time she enjoyed letting Smith and Wesson do most of the talking.

So she went to jail for 11 years and then was pardoned by a judge whose wife made him do it (I guess). When she was released she wanted to go live in a cabin in New Hampshire. And maybe she did. If she hasn’t been eaten by a bear like that poor young man in Alaska she is 84 years old these days.

Jerry Falwell who is for sure no longer with us said on this date in 1989 to all the employess of his various ministries that they must join his church and tithe or “we will fondly, warmly bid you good-bye”.

Many of his employees thought Jerry loved them mightily and was sending them on a vacation when he said this. “Jerry wants us to go to the Bahamas and think about tithing. And then he wants us to show our gratitude for his love and this vacation when we come back.”

But it was not to be. “You mean we are going to be fired if we don’t join this church and tithe on a regular basis? How is this possible in America?”

“It’s not possible in America” Jerry said. “But it is possible in Lynchburg, Virginia which I own.”

Not any more Jerry. You don’t own it now Big Guy.

And that’s all we have from the history vault on this day dear friends. Don’t forget to grab a RSS feed so you can keep up with important events on their anniversaries. Admit it. You haven’t thought about King Charles for a long time have you?

Keep him in mind before you start mixing all those chemicals stored under the kitchen sink! We aim to keep you out of trouble here at NewsLink Briefs dot com.

Today we begin a new feature here at NewsLink Briefs called Today In History. And we are doing this because it is important to remember the things that happened on this day in history. Someone once said that those who do not remember their history lessons are doomed to repeat them. And based on my experiences in school I can say this is definitely true.

And don’t assume that this means you can just repeat them one time and go on your way. You can become a habitual repeater if you are not careful. So did you know that on this day in 1913 the 16th Amendment to the US Constitution giving Congress the power to levy and collect taxes went into effect?

NOW do you see my point? Because I knew this little gem and so I do not have to pay my taxes over and over again. Oh wait. Actually I do have to pay them over and over again. I just blocked out this painful fact for a moment.

Maybe if I DIDN’T know about this I wouldn’t have to pay taxes over and over again. Then I could write this post while looking up from time to time at the neatly arranged iron bars that interfere with my view of Giant Eddie who doesn’t mind smiling even though he is missing most of his teeth.

In 1836 on this date Samuel Colt patented his famous Colt revolver. And boy was he a happy guy. Because those things were selling like hot cakes. Samuel Colt was a New England inventor who went far beyond his predecessor Eli Whitney as a “Pioneer of the machine shop”. And I know about Eli Whitney who invented the cotton gin because we both grew up in the same small town in central Massachusetts called Westborough.

Before Samuel Colt invented the revolver you only had one or two barrels at you disposal and if you missed the bear then he was probably going to eat you. After his invention went into mass production you could probably make a much greater impression on the bear and discourage him from having you for lunch. Maybe you could even have him for lunch and end up with a nice rug in front of the fireplace as well.

Progress is a mighty impressive thing.

In 1964 on this day Cassius Clay who was later known as Muhammad Ali whooped Sonny Liston in Miami Beach. I actually remember this fight because my father and I listened to it in front of the fireplace in our living room. Everyone thought that Sonny was going to erase this chatty fellow Clay from the boxing ring in short order. But something happened and he fell down and couldn’t get up. He tried clapping his hands because it seemed to him that someone had turned out the lights. But the boxing gloves got in the way and he didn’t make a sound.

Cassius Clay however made lots of sounds and jumped up and down. He really made enough noise for both of them and half the crowd if you can believe it. Cassius taunted Sonny while he lay on the ground trying to figure out why his clapper wasn’t working. Eventually the lights came back on and he decided to retire.

Actually it seems clear now that he decided to retire about the second time Clay hit him and he realized he couldn’t see the punches on their way to his large body. Also they hurt more than he had imagined and he probably just decided to lay down and take a short nap until everyone went home.

And finally on this day please say “Happy Birthday” to Latin singer Julio Iglesias Jr. who is 35, Comedian Carrot Top who is 41, the Harry Potter movie twins Oliver and James Phelps who are 22 and CBS newsman Bob Schieffer who is 71.

And that’s all for now history fans. For those of you who are interested here is a fascinating article about Samuel Colt who led a productive if somewhat short life.

http://inventors.about.com/cs/inventorsalphabet/a/machine_4.htm

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And don’t forget to take an RSS feed home with you because you wouldn’t want to forget the birthday of someone important!

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